That Moment when your 11:11 comes true...

Everyone knows about the 11:11 phenomenon that occurs everyday when everyone makes a wish in hopes that somehow it'll come true. Well I've been wishing on 11:11 for a while now, and my wish never came true... until recently. Although i probably should've been more specific with my wish...

Here I was wishing each night, for a boyfriend, for someone *of the male species to love me* to be there for me etc... well... I got what i wished for. Even though it might not be who I wanted, but it's someone non the less, and that is all i asked for. So once again. My fault.

At our school there seems to be this tradition. Or at least for the band kids there's a tradition that if you have to do something that involves emotions, feelings, such as an emotional confrontation, or release of sexual tension it's done in the instrument closet/room. Sure enough if i didn't fall into that tradition. I was pulled in by a friend of mine, and sure enough he asked me out. Now lets take note that this is all new to me. I wasn't really expecting that at all, and not only was it unexpected It was a first. Yeah, that's the first to actually say to me "will you go out with me?" and mean it in a relationship type way. and not in a like "hey lets kick it way." and i was in complete and utter shock. But then right after the shock i realized that he was waiting on a answer. and i didnt have one... So i told him i would think about it and he was more than understanding about it. He told me to take all the time i needed which i really appreciated. It showed that he was mature about the situation...

Now here i am one week into our relationship going on two. yeah...

See, it wasnt as simple as me just saying yes... there was 5,000 million issues that we had to deal with first. I didnt want to be in a relationship, and we went a entire week just trying to be friends and before the end of the week i knew what i wanted, and that wasn't to be friends. So now here i am going on two weeks... still dealing with issues, but no one said it would be easy or perfect right?

And as bad as i wanted to be cuffed up, and not single i get what i want and im not even sure if this is what i really want. Like i feel like i might be delusional about this whole thing, and maybe im just... desperate? and that's not what i want to be or come off as... But ofcoarse i'm not a quiter, nor am i ready to throw in the towel just yet... But moral of the story is, be careful what you wish for because you just might get it...

A letter to the one, that could've been the "ONE"

Dear one,
You sir are a fool. A idiot, and you have passed up a most incredible opportunity. A opportunity that you only get once in life, and you passed it up. You had the chance to be the "ONE." The one you say? well, yes, the "ONE" You could've been the one that had the world served to him on a silver platter. The one that had a best friend, lover, and soul mate that would've served him the world on that platter. You could've had it all... Everything you ever wanted and more, BUT you passed it up. You brushed it off as though you could find better... And though this may sound as though I am bitter towards your rejection but in all honesty i humor it. I laugh because it is you that has lost. I could have offered you more than  you would have ever assumed.  You thought you knew me, and i thought you knew me too, but i see that all you knew were assumptions. And your assumptions were wrong. You didn't know that I love hard, and that i could love you in the way that i did. You didn't know that I would do anything for you, all you had to do was ask. You didn't know that I'd spoil you. That Every holiday i give gifts, and even when i feel like just because you'd always receive. You didn't know that if I had of brought you home another 20 people were guaranteed to adore you. You didn't know....
They say ignorance is Bliss, you cant miss what you don't know. Well now that you know, i bet you wish you could take it back. We could've been great. We could've been so much more. You could've been here, in my home, apart of my family. We could've went on dates, and did things together. Bowling, movies, dinner... all in one night. You could've been here, and we could've made out on my couch... Sneaked in kisses at school... It could've been amazing...  No day would've been boring. Each day something new, because you never know what to expect with me. And i know I'm a lot to handle. No one had to tell me. I know this. But you on the other hand showed that you could handle it. Showed aggression, and assertiveness. Stand up to me, and never back down from anything i threw your way. You had my back whenever i was in the face or trouble, or needed a helping hand. You showed all the signs of my super man. But then you let me down. You had to choose between me and another... and you chose the other. Because i want you to be happy i support your decision, I just hope you don't regret it. Because i know she can never love you like i can. She can't offer you the things that i can. We're two different girls and you've made your decision. But, i still felt like you should know. Not that i expect you to change your mind, or that i want to convince you to come back, but you could've been the "ONE"
                                                Sincerely,
                                                               The one who wasn't the "ONE"

Where do you go from here? Stuck, like a stick in the mud. Engulfed in issues, drama, and heartbreak. Where do you go? What do you do? No advice for you here. Just  my opinion. But uhh, basically Keep living. Drama is unescapable, and issues are ever present. Heartbreak can be solved but that doesnt mean it wont reoccur.
People feel the need to voice their opinions, negative, and positive. Me personally couldnt care less. Let them talk. Let them say what they want. All you can do is keep it moving and do what makes you happy. Because thats what's important. And if your friends dont support you in what makes you happy then they weren't your real friends from the get go. And loosing them is only to your benefit. There is no reason to keep fake people around you. that's unneccessary nonsense. The less nonsense the better right? RIGHT! so, let em go. The ones that hold you down no matter what are the ones thats down for the ride. Those are the type of people you want around you. Not those who speak down to you, or treat you as lesser. Or those who continuously critisise you because they feel the need to to make them feel better about themselves. Also there are those friends that keep you around to live in their shadow. Who really wants to live anyones shadow? No one. Including me.
Then as for issues, the only thing you can do is deal with it the best you can. Look on the bright side of things. I know many people have rough home lives and it's hard to keep that and you social/school life seperate. When issues continue to follow you you may feel like it too much to bare but this is a time when i suggest you turn to religion. Whatever your religion may be, this would be a time that you should get on your knees and pray and ask that God give you strength to make it through. This is also a spiritual healing, that everyone needs.
And heartbreak... My goodness i could go on, and on and on about this. But as for that last dud that didn't work out dont let that phase you. Be single and happy. Go out with your girls, make new guy friends *not saying flirt with Alotta guys a gain a bad reputation* but make new friends that actually just want to be friends. Enjoy yourself and when a prospect comes along, then congradulations on that! And i personally wish you the best of luck and i hope that everything works out.
Life can be alot but as long as we make it out alive, i'd say were doing pretty good!

Progression...

As you can see here on Monday Mornings Friday Nights i'm talking to a very small audience, but anyways, there have been some changes made, and i hope you like them. Also, THEME Music is still updated weekly so check that out and update your ipod!