Story time!
November 12, 2011
(Almost) One year ago… The absolute sweetest boy I have ever met sent
me a text and told me to meet him in the band room after school because he had
something he wanted to show me. “What could he possibly have to show me?” I
thought to myself. I went through the rest of the debating, questioning, and
wondering what it could be that he wanted to show me. After school, I did as he
asked and came to the band room. He pulled me into the instrument closet and
pulled a ring off his finger. “I got my class ring today, but they messed it
up.” He put the ring in my hand and showed me how the ring was indeed messed
up. I couldn’t believe that he’d had me stay after school and miss my bus home
to show me his class ring. A slight wave of anger came over me, but before the
wave had a chance to completely pass through me he started talking again. “So I
need to ask you something.” He said. “Umm, I was wondering if… You would be my
girlfriend?” I literally believe that my heart stopped, after that. Which is
probably why anything from that point is slightly fuzzy in my mind. I remember
squealing like an idiot, and giving him a hug, and walking around with this
frazzled look on my face not knowing what the fuck to do. It was the first time
that a guy had actually asked me out in all 18 years of my life. It was a pretty big moment for me. I will
always be grateful to that sweet boy who had more courage than any other that I
know. He was the only boy brave enough to admit that he liked me and actually
ask me out, although later that day I politely denied his offer.
You
probably think that I’m crazy for doing that… but let me explain. At that time,
I was a senior in high school, and he was a junior, I had just turned 18, he
just turned 17, and I am a few inches, maybe centimeters taller than him. His
age, grade, and height didn’t really meet the requirements. Now you’re probably
thinking that I’m shallow, but I’m really not. I’m not the type of person who
cares about looks, I think that personality is far more important, but those 3
things are kind of a big deal to me at least. Now the thing was that He really
was the sweetest guy I had ever met. He had the most amazing personality, had
so much heart, and definitely was his own person. No one could change that.
Plus, he was a Libra just like me, so you know he was hard headed, and
stubborn. As always after it happened I
called my friends in search of advice and guidance, and one of them said to me
“Stop beating around the bush and just tell the boy that you don’t like him”
but that in fact was not true. I did like him, and I knew that much for a fact.
I called a couple more friends and one of them said to me “You know what your
problem is? You care to much about what other people will say and think. You
know you want to tell that boy yes. I just don’t see why you give a fuck what
other people think?” That was the most profound statement that I’d heard. Why
did I care? Let people think what they want, because my happiness and shot at a
good guy was on the line and guess what I did? You already know, I told him no,
and that we should work our way there.
November 17, 2011
After thinking about it for about a week, I told him to meet
me after school this time. This time I actually had an excuse to stay after school;
I was helping a friend in the school pageant. So after school we met up in the
hallway and popped a squat across from the counseling office. I looked at him
and said, “I know what I said before, but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and
I think you should ask me again.” He had the most confused look on his face,
like he had absolutely no clue what was going on. After what I assume was him
trying to figure out was going on he asked me to be his girlfriend again, but
this time I said yes. He still sat there looking confused like he didn’t
believe my answer. “Yes?” he questioned me, still in disbelief. It really
touched me that he couldn’t believe that I’d said yes.
Who can honestly believe that nearly a year has passed since
then? A whole year… It definitely hasn’t been the most pleasant year. Nor was
it easy, for either of us. In fact we didn’t even make it a whole year. Not
even 2 months actually. It’s sad, but it’s true. Even though we weren’t
together we still had love for each other just as we do today. With all my
heart, I still have love for the sweetest guy I have ever met. No one can touch
him, he’s on a level all his own. It's like that Usher song: my boo. "There's always that one person that will always have your heart." And that even though you're not together and you're with other people that's still your boo.
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