Cleaning up the mess

Cleaning up the mess. The mess known as my life that I didn't create on my own. But yet i'm the only person left here to clean it up. My life is like a house party. Everyone comes, has a good time, talks shit, makes a mess, and when the night is over everyone goes home to their clean homes, and i'm the one left with a trashed house and have to clean the mess up on my own. That's my life right now. The after effects of a house party. Everyones came into my life, had a good time, rode the bandwagon when things were going good, supported me 100%, became my friend, added their two cents, and influenced my decision making. Now that things aren't going so good everyone jumps off the bandwagon withdraws their support, and gives me the cold shoulder. Ouch. You think that hurts much?
Now here i am trying to clean up the mess on my own and I turn to the ones who i'd hoped would never turn their backs on me yet, they too have given me the cold shoulder. Left me out in the cold. Which hurts even worse.
Now here I am, alone.
With no one to turn to because it seems as though the world is against me in everything I attempt to do. And as a human, we seek that approval and support, but when you don't get it, you do feel alone. I'm speaking from experience here. We need that in our lives. Without it we feel as though there's no point. No purpose. Which in turn leads to suicidal notions...
Then there's that point when you try to convince yourself that you keep going for yourself. You keep going to prove to everyone that you could do it, even without them. But at the end of the day proving them wrong does nothing but make them turn their noses up at you, and still there's no one there to be proud of you. So again you ask "What's the point?"
Well... I don't know. I don't have a point. I'm still trying to figure that out. I'm still trying to clean up the mess that everyone's helped make with no support, no love, no advice, no one. Because right now all i've got is me. Which is something you know everyone says is "all i got is me, myself and I" but when that becomes your reality that truly all you have is "Me, Myself and I" you realize that's not enough...  But truthfully speaking at the end of the day all you have is yourself. When everyone else is gone, there's still you... And that's where I am.
There's me.
And me alone.
Cleaning up the mess...